hey

andrew made me remember last friday, when i went to that church. when tony anthony told that story. andrew made me feel that i should tell you it, in my own way.


i feel, that my purpose in life, is because i want to make people happy, make them feel better about themselves. i used to be them and other people were supporting me. its different, opposite. now im supporting people. making them happy, making them positive. i strongly dislike seeing people with a frown. i want to see smiles and happy faces.

my life used to be down in the dumps you know. worse than ever. i shall never like the past. unless it is from this year and beyond. i want people to get along, people to love each other, not hate each other. i hate the word hate. its a bad word. i strongly dislike divorces and fights and all that bad stuff in life. i want to see everyone get along, and not to get lonely. they may be lonely, they may look lonely. they arent though, they are with god. in their heart they love god.

if you hate someone, there is always a good reason why. you cant hate someone for no reason. think of it as a blood cell. when you hate someone, you make a bad blood cell. but if they liked each other, then the blood cell will heal and turn into a good blood cell. (this blood cell thing isnt true btw, at least i dont think. so dont believe it, its just a way to explain i guess.) once you lie and do so much bad things, all your blood cells will be bad and you will die.

i did have lots of bad blood cells then. but not anymore i hope. because i asked god for forgiveness. you see, god is perfect. in all ways. if you ask him for forgivness and then, god will give you his perfection. pass his soul of perfection to you. so even if you have so many bad blood cells, as long as you have asked for forgiveness once in your life, and meant it ofcourse, you would be sent to heaven. but if you dont, you would be sent to hell. because you have nto forgived him. and he would think you never cared about him dying for you. he would catch you if you fall.

tony anthony said "god is perfect, people arent. but once they ask for forgiveness from god, god will pass his perfection to you, and you will be sent to heaven, but if you dont ask for forgiveness in your life, youd be sent to hell" or something along those lines.

if you dont mean it, its like telling your dad you will clean the dishes or something, and you dont do it. nothing changes, the dishes would still be dirty and unwashed, so if you pray to god to forgive you and dont mean it, nothing will change. you MUST mean it. nothing but a lie, and it leads to a bad cell.

id like to thank andrew, for being there for me being with me (: your the most coolest friend ive ever had (: more than that. thanks to tony anthony, for the advice and everything you had said that friday. very meaningful.


another thing is, that i actually quite strongly dislike diaries. ill tell you why in a sec.
ive actually had alot of diaries, and now i think why.

its bad to have diaries. its mainly about yourself isnt it? life isnt always about you. it makes you self centred doesnt it?
you hide secrets you should tell someone. maybe just one, but it does help, because if it is a good person, they would support. secrets are bad, when they are kept to yourself nothing will change, nothing will improve, if you tell someone, it is one step away to something good, or bad. but take the risk anyway, because its a 50/50 chance it will be good. take the risk. it will be ok in the end, when gods by your side.


i guess thats a lesson to be learnt.

xoxo. ily guysss. jesshikaaa (:


PS. omg andrew ilysfm mann. thanks for being there at all times. im on your side too. <33